A little white fluff and all he’ll breaks loose. London’s been hit by an insane amount of snow. At least that’s what they’re calling it.

So today I tried to get from Blackheath to my usual 25 minute destination of St Pauls. 25 minutes… Not a chance!

Because of the snow the trains are less frequent so my usual 5 options per hour are reduced to 2. Here’s what happened:

Blackheath station – 2 delayed and overloaded trains. People on platforms are freaking out.

Bus to Lewisham – figured I’d have more options from there. Er, no!

Just more frustration. 3 jam packed trains went by and I was running like a loony between platforms 1 and 3.

DLR from Lewisham to Bank – forget it. Bank’s DLR station is closed for the rest of the month. Back to the train platform, people still getting freaked out.

Lewisham to London Bridge – only enough space for 1/2 a passenger.

Started snowing again. White crap everywhere. People freaking out.

This is fun.

Lewisham to Cannon Street – sardines! At least I’m on… And at least it’s only 3 minutes late but by now I’m already 1,5 hours late for work. Fun if you’re a permy but us contractors get paid per hour…

Cannon Street to work – walk or bus. Stuff it! I’ve had enough standing. I’m walking.

Sardine Run - Wild Coast, South Africa

Some people think the Sardine Run is a migration of fish up the East coast of South Africa. Not quite! Try venturing onto the Piccadilly line to Heathrow airport on a Friday afternoon!

After an eventful episode of lugging suitcases and dodging commuters between lines at Green Park station, you find yourself among the other hopefuls on a densely packed platform. The train’s approaching. You’re hoping the heaven’s are raining good wishes on your soul and you’ll see a string of empty carriages approaching…. far from it!

As if travelling during peak time is not bad enough, this particular journey tops it off by having peoples’ luggage scattered all over the compartment. The train stops, the doors open and if you’re one of the ‘lucky’ few, you find yourself negotiating your way between bags, elbows and smelly armpits… it’s like the closing stages of a Tetris game, trying to squeeze in any way you can before the doors close.

Then you have about 30 minutes to go before you get comfortable enough to fix your almost-dislocated shoulder and are able to move your feet more than an inch. Most regular commuters jump off by Acton Town and you can usually get a seat by the time you’re at Northfields. Woop-dee-doo… that’s about 30 minutes too late!

But then I should be more grateful. I’ve come to accept this ’special feature’ of life in London and have since discovered an alternative… Gatwick Airport. I now get to do the whole thing over again, but this time it includes running for the train when you have no idea on which part of the platform it’s going to stop!

Ads on the Underground

I’m not sure if you noticed but the tube is filled with advertising… it’s completed lined with posters about any old crap and a lot of new interesting stuff as well…

I caught the tube from Angel. Walking through the turnstile I headed for the escalator. I immediately noticed the mini-posters lining the side wall. I counted 44 posters on the one side and a matching 44 posters for passengers heading in the opposite direction. The escalator was also the slowest I’ve ever been on, so you’re really forced to notice the array of colours and eye-catching words and images flashing before you.

I thought that was it but when I came to the bottom I was faced with 16 bigger posters on my side of the walkway and another 16 on the opposite side. Then came the second escalator with another 21 mini-posters on either side. At the foot of the escalator I saw another 8 large posters.

Walking onto the spacious platform at Angel was quite a relief until I noticed a massive ad on the wall above the tracks and began to count… approximately 40 large posters dotted along the platform walls and in the side passages. Now that’s insane!

Hopping off the tube at London Bridge I was expecting the worst but was pleasantly surprised to notice modern TV screens lining the escalator walls, showing video adverts – all 43 of them on my side alone. Based on the reactions of people on both stations, it seems the video ads are more of a hit as you find yourself watching the same set of ads all the way up the escalator. The printed versions just get a bit irritating, which you soon realise as you see the monster-sized posters at the top of the London Bridge escalator.

I then added everything up and realised that if I travel that portion of the Northern line frequently, I would be exposed to over 340 adverts on each round trip, without taking into account the ads on board the tube. That’s astonishing… but how many of them can I actually remember? Maybe one? Sure… but which one?

Chapel Market, near Angel

There’s not really much to it, other than a few clothing stalls, some really fresh fruit and a range of odd bits to buy from the selection of market vendors. Nevertheless, it actually came in handy for me today.

I caught the Northern line to Angel and walked past Chapel Market on the way to a friend’s place. I was heading out to pick up a mobile phone charger as mine was broken. I’d recently sold my phone on eBay and needed to charge it so I could get all of the numbers off before posting it to the lucky winning bidder.

Anyway, I picked up the charger and discovered it was the wrong size. Bad luck!

On my way back to the tube station I figured I’d see if one of the stalls had an old charger I could buy. Sure enough, I found a couple of stalls selling mobile phone covers, chargers and other accessories. I found a few chargers priced at £5 to £8. I walked on, trying to scout for the best price and haggle a bit.

I finally found my better price at £3. Strangely, it was not at one of the temporary stalls but rather at a store along the Chapel Market road – a pawn broker. To make things better, it was also an original charger, compared to the generic ones on sale at the stalls outside.

I ended my journey with a smile on my face and what’s better is that I now know of another neighbourhood market to browse on an off-day!

Falling asleep is not that easy. If you’re sitting on an end seat (next to the glass/plastic shield) you could rest your head against the shield. There’s not much vibration, compared to overland trains, so it could work. If you’re seated next to a support pole you could use it to rest your head. I’ve even seen some people using an arm or their wrists to support their heads. In this case it helps to have an armrest but you’re not always that lucky.

The really skilled commuters can sleep while sitting in normal seats. You have to learn to sit in the perfect position, neither falling forward nor backward. It’s too far for your head to rest against the back wall of the tube and if you lean forward too much you could fall into the aisle (although I’m never seen that happen yet). That would be hilarious!

There are also those who can sleep while standing. I mastered this art while doing a daily commute from Kings Cross to Feltham on the Piccadilly line. By the time I jumped on board at Kings Cross I had already travelled for an hour on the overland rail from Cambridge, so I was pretty exhausted. The Piccadilly line can get quite packed and often I only had standing room. During the morning trip I sometimes slept but in the afternoon it was guaranteed to happen. I’d be standing with one hand on an overhead bar, with my head rested against my forearm, sleeping. If the carriage was packed it actually helped because everyone else would support me without realising it, making it impossible for me to fall over. I quickly adjusted to the position and my legs became steady. Before long I was getting a good 15 minute snooze on a daily basis by sleeping against my forearm. Insane… but true!

What also impresses me is watching someone sleep for exactly the right duration. I used to see the same youngster travel on the Piccadilly line in the morning. Ten seconds before arriving at Northfields station he would open his eyes, pull his cap straight and get up to leave the train. That’s incredible! It’s like you’ve travelled the route so much that your body knows exactly how much sleep it’s allowed.

What I’m still waiting to see is someone wake up after missing their stop. I know it’s harsh but you have to admit, it would be pretty funny.