Swine Flu Ad

Sneeze… and everyone around you freaks out. Within seconds, your sudden outburst has caused several frowns, numerous stares, a fair bit of head turning (usually away from your direction) and some very concerned looks.

Swine flu’s got everyone so wrapped up in its chaos that it seems people have forgotten about hay fever. My wife suffers from hay fever and finds it so frustrating that people don’t understand why she sneezes at times – it’s caused by pollen people… and by dust. There should be some easier way to tell the difference. For example, I haven’t seen them yet but apparently you can get t-shirts that read ‘It’s hay fever, not swine flu’. Brilliant! It’s almost as silly as carrying a sticker on your forehead that says ‘H’ or ‘S’ so we can see who we should avoid in the tube.

Sneezing is still annoying though, right? A cough is bearable but sneezing on the tube is considered taboo. I saw a woman today who had the two most petite sneezes I’m ever witnessed and the grey-haired gent next to her almost lost his mind. His turned away instantly, rolled his eyes in total bewilderment and then proceeded to spy on the woman without her noticing. He scanned her from head to toe, inspecting her clothing, her hair, her bag… what a loony! To make matters worse (for me at least as I think I’m the only one in the carriage who noticed him doing all of this weird stuff) he didn’t so much as flinch when the guy across from him let out a loud cough a minute later.

For the sufferers, sneezing is just unfortunate. For the victims, it’s just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Luckily, I’m a tall guy. I feel sorry for people shorter than me who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, directly in the line of fire when some random bloke embarks on a wet, sticky sneezing spree. I’m so glad I don’t know what that feels like!